Thursday, April 13, 2017

Things You Don't Know About Me (Part 1)

So I've been reading Any Schumer's book lately (which is awesome, by the way - I highly recommend it), and she had a chapter in there called, "Things You Don't Know About Me." I thought it was a great idea because, even though I'm obviously nowhere near as famous as she is, I have a rather interesting story (if I do say so myself) and I think this list will be fun to make. So here we go.

1. I was born on April 3, 1983 (Easter Sunday), 2 whole months early, in Angel Baby Hospital in Seoul, South Korea. Being a premie, I weighed only 4 pounds! I was adopted when I was only 3 months (and 8 pounds).

Map of South Korea (courtesy of Google images)

2. When I was little, my parents told me that I was the second baby they tried to adopt, that the first little girl had died before they got her. So basically, I was their second choice. That was an awful thing to tell a little girl (who already had enough issues about being adopted)! I could see them telling me now that I'm older, MAYBE, but definitely not back then.

3. I effing HATE spiders. Big ones, teeny tiny ones... I always make Chris kill them and he never fails to make fun of me.

4. My hands are ALWAYS hot. Like, more often than not. I noticed it more when we were on drugs (especially when we were sick - that was the worst) but even now, they are super warm. It's sometimes a blessing but mostly it reminds me of those awful days and nights when we would alternate between sweating and the chills.


Warm hands, warm heart? (courtesy of Google images)

6. My first pets were gerbils that my college roommate and I got from PetCo. We thought they were both boys but apparently they were NOT. They had babies and then, one weekend, we went out of town and when we got back the daddy had straight up EATEN some of the babies and there were half eaten baby gerbil carcasses in the cage. It scarred me for life. No more pet rodents after that.

7. I am a total klutz. I trip over anything on the ground (including my own two feet). There was a month when, every Monday, I tripped and fell. I literally fell last night in my parking lot, walking from the car to my building, and completely destroyed my knees (and, more importantly, my favorite wedges). Due to this, I have more scars on my legs than most 8-year old boys.

My bandaged knees from my epic fall yesterday.

8. I went through a phase of crazy promiscuity in my early 20s. I don't even know how many guys I've been with. I was not a cute kid (well, I guess I was, but I had coke-bottle glasses, braces and a horrible haircut for most of my childhood) so when I got older and boys started noticing me, I went slightly (a lot) overboard. Add to that self-image issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues and Catholic parents, and it was bound to happen. I look back now and wish I had saved myself, but it also made me who I am today.

9. (This ties into #8) I am very vain and superficial. Not in the sense that I won't talk to someone if they're not wearing designer jeans, or if they have any mental or physical impairment, but I personally always like to look nice. I don't go to the grocery store without at least putting on earrings, eyeliner and lip gloss. I like nice shoes and purses. I like my man to smell nice and look sharp when we go out. If that means I'm going to hell, at least I'll look damn good when I meet Satan himself.

10. I have the most sensitive stomach in the world, and I hate it. EVERYTHING makes me nauseous. I went to the doctor a few years ago after a particularly bad bout (there was a week where I couldn't keep anything down at all) and they originally diagnosed me with gallbladder disease, but it turned out to be Hepatitis C (due, most likely, to my aforementioned drug use), so I still don't have any answers as to why I get sick  all the time.

11. I don't think I want kids. I'm not naturally caring or nurturing, and I know that. I'm terrified that I wouldn't get those motherly feelings people always talk about. I'm scared that I would fuck up the child the way my parents fucked me up. If I were to have a child I would want to adopt one, like I was, but I don't think it'll happen due to my criminal background (or my fiancé's). If I'm this ambivalent now, at 34, will my feelings ever change? My pets are enough right now and that's fine with me.

12. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a princess. Or a teacher. Or a detective. But mostly a princess. (I still sorta do, actually.)

13. I was raised Catholic but I don't practice anymore. I honestly don't know what I believe, but that's for another discussion. I never felt like religion was the answer. My parents made me do the whole Sunday School thing, and I was baptized and confirmed, but it always felt like they only did it because it was the right thing to do. My first office job was at a Catholic church and my beliefs went even further downhill after that. Like most corporations, the people who gave the most money had the most power, and I didn't like that. Plus they fired me (after only a month) for the most bullshit reasons: the priest told me I was too young and inexperienced. What IS that?! He knew how old and inexperienced I was when he hired me; it's not like I got younger and less experienced as the month went on! So if my faith wasn't shaken before, it was definitely gone after that debacle.

14. I'm very anal and organized about a lot of things, but not at all about others. I guess I'm a paradox in that sense. I want my nails and hair to be perfect. I have a set routine in the mornings. I like my work space organized in a certain way, so I can easily find everything. I constantly cycle between a handful of apps on my phone and tablet. But there is clutter all over my side of the room and it doesn't bother me (meanwhile it makes Chris crazy).

15. I LOVE FOOD. (You actually already may know this, particularly if you have read my other blog, Food, Glorious Food, but you may not realize just how MUCH I love food.) I love Italian food, Mexican food, Asian food (especially Asian food), southern food, soul food, gourmet food... just about everything. Except olives. Which is okay, though, because Chris loves them (little nod to the "Olive Theory" from How I Met Your Mother).

Apparently, "The Olive Theory" is really a thing... I found this on Google images!

16. In addition to spiders, I also have a fear of heights. It's so bad that when I go into tall building with really high ceilings, my knees lock up and my heart starts pounding really hard, When I was little there was this aerospace exhibit at a local museum, and it had a really high dome ceiling (made to look like the sky), and when you walked in you were on a platform overlooking a replica of the moon landing, and it totally freaked me out for some reason. To this day, I STILL have nightmares about it!

17. I got my period at age 10, in the fifth grade, when my mother wasn't home (she worked nights - I got it when I woke up one morning to go to school). Luckily, she had already told me where everything was, so I told my dad, "Hey, I got my period," got a pad out of the cabinet, and went school. The only downside was that I stopped growing after that, so I've been 5' tall since then!

18. I have 4 tattoos: a flower on my hip (got at age 19, want to cover it up and make it better); my Korean name (in Korean) on the bottom right side of my back; a triquetra on the bottom left side of my back, and a four leaf clover on my left shoulder. I definitely want more, just haven't decided exactly what and where. (Side note, when my mom saw them for the first time, she freaked out - you would have thought I had a skull and crossbones or something!)

That's a good first start... I definitely have more I want to say but I've already been working on this list all week (I'm also a procrastinator, have I mentioned that yet?). Have a Happy Easter everyone!

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